Got any good jokes?

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SpheresOfBalance
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by SpheresOfBalance »

Walker wrote: Thu May 18, 2017 2:01 am I should hope so, if you have any measure of couth.

Seriousness is situationally inappropriate.
Really?? :lol:
Walker
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

What situation do you think this is?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwbqIlj-BiI
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

:lol:

That's country dumb.
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

Fellow travelers meet in an airport lounge. They are similar in age and appearance, and while waiting for their flights they pass the time with drinks and stories.

One says, “You know, I bet you a beer I can guess your alma mater.”

The other says, “Sure, I’ll take that bet. Where did I go to school?”

“Northwestern University.”

“That’s amazing. How did you know?”

“Low teacher/student ratio, the undergraduates have access to full professors, even Nobel Prize winners. I can tell by your thoughtful manner, your relaxed poise and intelligent comments that you have been exposed to great minds and learning conditions, so I took a guess.”

The other traveler says, “Double or nothing, I can tell you your alma mater. But instead of two beers, lets make it a double ouzo. My flight leaves soon.”

The first traveler says, “Okay, you’re on. Where did I go to school?”

“Berkeley.”

“I’m equally amazed. How did you guess?”

The ouzo winner says, “Well, it really wasn’t a guess. I noticed your class ring when you were picking your nose.”
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attofishpi
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by attofishpi »

I walked into a sex shop the other day and there were two inflatable dolls. I asked the guy behind the counter "Whats the difference between these dolls, ones Christian and ones Muslim."
He said, the Muslim one is more expensive but it blows itself up.
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A_Seagull
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by A_Seagull »

alicensophia wrote: Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:44 pm
I'm wondering if anyone has some good philosophy jokes they'd like to share.
Q: What do you call someone who thinks they know everything and takes a walk at exactly the same time each day?

A: A Kant.
duszek
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by duszek »

From the "New Yorker":

a patient is lying on a settee and a psychoanalyst is listening, the patient says:

I want what everybody else wants: being paid one billion dollars for being a jerk.
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PauloL
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by PauloL »

Image
Walker
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

There is NO "reason" to hit a woman...Right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjQnha99sTY

(R: Language)
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Dontaskme
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Dontaskme »

.
Last edited by Dontaskme on Wed Dec 12, 2018 3:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Walker
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

Q: How does a modern warship get rammed by a tanker?

A: Like inertia ramming worship, no laughing matter.
Walker
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

duszek wrote: Wed Jun 14, 2017 2:39 pm From the "New Yorker":

a patient is lying on a settee and a psychoanalyst is listening, the patient says:

I want what everybody else wants: being paid one billion dollars for being a jerk.
I saw a cartoon of a dog on a shrink’s couch. The traumatized dog says, “Well if I didn’t know who Bruno Magli was before, I sure as hell do now.”
duszek
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by duszek »

Sorry, I don´t understand the joke.

Has the dog been treated badly by Bruno M. ? Who is Bruno Magli ?
Walker
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Re: Got any good jokes?

Post by Walker »

duszek wrote: Thu Aug 31, 2017 5:39 pm Sorry, I don´t understand the joke.

Has the dog been treated badly by Bruno M. ? Who is Bruno Magli ?
That’s the way it often is with New Yorker cartoons.

Picture the irate dog owner standing over the dog, waving a chewed up shoe, shouting, “Don’t you know this is a Bruno Magli?” And now the dog must seek therapy to assuage the psychic trauma.

Ancillary meaning: Prints from a Bruno Magli shoe were found at the crime scene, OJ said he wouldn’t wear such “ugly-ass” shoes, then the prosecution produced a photograph of Juice wearing said shoes. (Old cartoon).
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Re: Got any good jokes?

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