Memory and getting old.

[Belinda]

You may congratulate yourself Harbal that you are not so lacking in sensibility that you are unable to feel the sadness of transience.

But that doesn't quite feel like it makes up for not doing the right things at the right time. It's not like it ever stops: In ten years time, or even less, I know I will be regretting the way I am behaving now.

The cosmological view that time is the essence of existence has the psychologically beneficial effect that you could do only what you you did at the time and place that you did it. As time flows forward you would do differently according to circumstances which may include your ability to learn from experience.

As Skip observed there are no refunds and that boils down to the fact of time's arrow. I bet old Ecclesiastes has said it more concisely than I have.

Omar Khayam too!

[Skip]

OK I see now. You can't get it wrong, because whatever happens is in your circumstances or your character or the stars or your DNA: it's all, already written somewhere.
So, you can't get it right, either.

I wasn't criticizing, btw; just riffing on whatever comes by.

[Hobbes' Choice]

It seems that there are some who are not prone to feelings of nostalgia or sentimentality. I wonder if these people know how lucky they are. Unfortunately, I am plagued by both these tormenters. The older I get, the more regrets I accumulate over things I’ve done and others that I haven’t done . The rule seeming to be that the farther back in time these things are, the more anguish they cause me..

So you are old. Oh Um. Your problem is not age but regret. When you did the things for which you regret, or the things you failed to do, you could not have done otherwise. You were the person you were then, and not the one you are now. People change. For each moment in your life you make a choice; a choice based on your motivation, capabilities and to the best of your knowledge. Regretting a thing after the act is an empty emotional state, that has no function or purpose. Move on and learn. If there is something you feel you ought to have done then do it. If you are too old, then let it go, you are free of it.

The anguish is not going to help.

Regrets are self pitying nonsense. Learn and improve!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFtGfyruroU

[Harbal]

So you are old. Oh Um. Your problem is not age but regret. When you did the things for which you regret, or the things you failed to do, you could not have done otherwise. You were the person you were then, and not the one you are now. People change. For each moment in your life you make a choice; a choice based on your motivation, capabilities and to the best of your knowledge. Regretting a thing after the act is an empty emotional state, that has no function or purpose. Move on and learn. If there is something you feel you ought to have done then do it. If you are too old, then let it go, you are free of it.

The anguish is not going to help.

Regrets are self pitying nonsense. Learn and improve!

This thread was never about things I've done that I regret, though God knows there are plenty. I was just making the point that memory and the passing of time can give rise to intense feelings of sadness in those of us who are prone to nostalgia and over sentimentality. I don't need any advice on how to get over my mistakes, thank you.

[Skip]

All back to normal then. AOK

[Hobbes' Choice]

So you are old. Oh Um. Your problem is not age but regret. When you did the things for which you regret, or the things you failed to do, you could not have done otherwise. You were the person you were then, and not the one you are now. People change. For each moment in your life you make a choice; a choice based on your motivation, capabilities and to the best of your knowledge. Regretting a thing after the act is an empty emotional state, that has no function or purpose. Move on and learn. If there is something you feel you ought to have done then do it. If you are too old, then let it go, you are free of it.

The anguish is not going to help.

Regrets are self pitying nonsense. Learn and improve!

This thread was never about things I've done that I regret, though God knows there are plenty. I was just making the point that memory and the passing of time can give rise to intense feelings of sadness in those of us who are prone to nostalgia and over sentimentality. I don't need any advice on how to get over my mistakes, thank you.

Some people never listen. Some don't even own up to what they say.
You said "The older I get, the more regrets I accumulate over things I’ve done and others that I haven’t done".

You do need advice on how to overcome your mistake if you are stupid enough to fill your mind with regret.

[TSBU]

So you are old. Oh Um. Your problem is not age but regret. When you did the things for which you regret, or the things you failed to do, you could not have done otherwise. You were the person you were then, and not the one you are now. People change. For each moment in your life you make a choice; a choice based on your motivation, capabilities and to the best of your knowledge. Regretting a thing after the act is an empty emotional state, that has no function or purpose. Move on and learn. If there is something you feel you ought to have done then do it. If you are too old, then let it go, you are free of it.

The anguish is not going to help.

Regrets are self pitying nonsense. Learn and improve!

This thread was never about things I've done that I regret, though God knows there are plenty. I was just making the point that memory and the passing of time can give rise to intense feelings of sadness in those of us who are prone to nostalgia and over sentimentality. I don't need any advice on how to get over my mistakes, thank you.

Some people never listen. Some don't even own up to what they say.
You said "The older I get, the more regrets I accumulate over things I’ve done and others that I haven’t done".

You do need advice on how to overcome your mistake if you are stupid enough to fill your mind with regret.

Some people never listen. Some don't even own up to what they say.

[Harbal]

You said "The older I get, the more regrets I accumulate over things I’ve done and others that I haven’t done".

Yes, I did say that but the emphasis was on what time does to the way you feel about the regrets more than the regrets themselves. Besides, regrets are only one thing, I was mainly talking about the things that bring about feelings of nostalgia.

You do need advice on how to overcome your mistake if you are stupid enough to fill your mind with regret.

Regret is unavoidable and I can't see the point in refusing to admit you have any. You gave me some unwanted advice, so I'll give you some in return: Try acting like a fucking human being, just as an experiment, it may not be as bad as you think.

[Hobbes' Choice]

You said "The older I get, the more regrets I accumulate over things I’ve done and others that I haven’t done".

Yes, I did say that but the emphasis was on what time does to the way you feel about the regrets more than the regrets themselves. Besides, regrets are only one thing, I was mainly talking about the things that bring about feelings of nostalgia.

You do need advice on how to overcome your mistake if you are stupid enough to fill your mind with regret.

Regret is unavoidable and I can't see the point in refusing to admit you have any. You gave me some unwanted advice, so I'll give you some in return: Try acting like a fucking human being, just as an experiment, it may not be as bad as you think.

Ooooooooooowww! clasps his handbag to is chest!


Regret is a choice. A self indulgent choice. Not only have you got shit, but you've got carbuncles on your shit. Not only do you have regrets, but feelings about the regrets.
You are in a complete state. That's why you can't usually take anything seriously, until the day you open up then you get all touchy. Dear oh dear! You poor poor thing!

Are we supposed to take you seriously after all this time?

[Harbal]

Regret is a choice.

So is being a knob head, Hobbes.

That's why you can't usually take anything seriously,

It's true, I can't take fakes like you seriously. Forums like this are full of people like you; trying to project an image they think makes them sound impressive but, in reality, just makes them look like twats.

until the day you open up then you get all touchy.

I can't help being a very sensitive person.

Dear oh dear! You poor poor thing!

Will you give me a hug, Daddy?

Are we supposed to take you seriously after all this time?

We? Who is this we you're talking about? Who the fuck do you think would associate themselves with you?

[TSBU]

Ooooooooooowww! clasps his handbag to is chest!


Regret is a choice. A self indulgent choice. Not only have you got shit, but you've got carbuncles on your shit. Not only do you have regrets, but feelings about the regrets.
You are in a complete state. That's why you can't usually take anything seriously, until the day you open up then you get all touchy. Dear oh dear! You poor poor thing!

Are we supposed to take you seriously after all this time?

Feeling is redundant for mr robot, that's why he is so calmed talking with an old man who feel regret, he clearly knows that this input is going to give you new info, it's good for you (and indirectly, good for him). He doesn't feel regrets, he killed his mum driving fast, but he is not self indungent, he said "Oh, I'm wrong, I'll drive slow", and then he got a shit icecream.
That icecream is still freezing his brain.

Ridiculous.

Feelings are part of our mental process, they are heuristics, and, when a person feel regrets, that person analyzes (always) what cause such feelings, of course, some people are faster than others, some people can realize more about their mental process, some people are more... introvert? they spend more mind in snalyzing their own mind, and others just move more on feelings, but every person, more or less, change his mind, every person, more or less, is guided by feelings and feel things.

Don't spread your crap in every fucking post, you have a big problem, if you do this because you are bored, you have a big problem, if you do this because you think that insulting people so often with this simpe explanations make them realize something (You idiot cause feelings and use feelings in your "arguments" in order to say that... you must not feel?), you have a problem if you think that you don't have any problem and people have problems because they choose to have problems.

And enough, you won't change, he won't change, I won't change, not deeply, cause this is a fucking forum, nothing here can cause us "big feelings"... and above all, you can't, baby XD. Now keep with angry posts, I like them, the fill my hunger of irony XD.

Fucking crazy world.

[Dubious]

Regrets are self pitying nonsense. Learn and improve!

Hey Ironman, regrets are the normal precursors to change. Regrets as "self pitying nonsense" is usually reserved for those who don't mind working in abattoirs or concentration camps until retirement.

[Greta]

I agree with Hobbes. By all means feel regret. Then learn, then move on.

However, I am no longer a lover of "beautiful melancholy" as I once was, and many others here appear to be. There is an enticing sweetness to melancholy, but it goes stale.

We learn to love our hair shirts, seeing them as evidence that we actually are good, despite our mistakes. I stopped loving my self flagellation because it bored me. I'd learned the lessons but was revisiting out of habit and self indulgence. Not that habitual self indulgences are necessarily bad, but I guess I already had enough of them and needed to unload.

To quote poet Annette Peacock's lyric on Bill Bruford's Adios A La Pasada (Goodbye To The Past):

Say goodbye to the guilt
Leave the past behind
Leave the pain with the past
Lighten up the cross
It's a long journey ahead

You are innocent victims
Of circumstance and coincidence
Be gentle with yourselves
Forgive yourselves
Release yourselves from the past.

[Hobbes' Choice]

Regret is a choice.

So is being a knob head, Hobbes.

So why are you such a knob head?

until the day you open up then you get all touchy.

I can't help being a very sensitive person.
About as sensitive as Cola Cola, and about as sincere.

Dear oh dear! You poor poor thing!

Will you give me a hug, Daddy?

You are too old to call me that, sweetie.

Are we supposed to take you seriously after all this time?

We? Who is this we you're talking about? Who the fuck do you think would associate themselves with you?

That's a "no" then is it?

[Hobbes' Choice]

I agree with Hobbes. By all means feel regret. Then learn, then move on.

However, I am no longer a lover of "beautiful melancholy" as I once was, and many others here appear to be. There is an enticing sweetness to melancholy, but it goes stale.

We learn to love our hair shirts, seeing them as evidence that we actually are good, despite our mistakes. I stopped loving my self flagellation because it bored me. I'd learned the lessons but was revisiting out of habit and self indulgence. Not that habitual self indulgences are necessarily bad, but I guess I already had enough of them and needed to unload.

To quote poet Annette Peacock's lyric on Bill Bruford's Adios A La Pasada (Goodbye To The Past):

Say goodbye to the guilt
Leave the past behind
Leave the pain with the past
Lighten up the cross
It's a long journey ahead

You are innocent victims
Of circumstance and coincidence
Be gentle with yourselves
Forgive yourselves
Release yourselves from the past.