Memory and getting old.

[Harbal]

It seems that there are some who are not prone to feelings of nostalgia or sentimentality. I wonder if these people know how lucky they are. Unfortunately, I am plagued by both these tormenters. The older I get, the more regrets I accumulate over things I’ve done and others that I haven’t done . The rule seeming to be that the farther back in time these things are, the more anguish they cause me. For this reason, I have nothing but contempt for those who post on this forum trying to tell me that there is no such thing as time. If there’s no such thing as time, why do I keep on getting older? Getting old does not suit me. Some people readily accept getting old, some people even seem to embrace it, I hate it.
If I could give just one piece of advice to the young it would be: just stay away from me you bastards, with you smooth skin and hair that still has some sort of colour left in it, and your ambitions for the future, I don’t want to have to see you, you make me sick.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

The Belgians are the luckiest people on earth. They can just go and end the torture when it suits them.

[TSBU]

It seems that there are some who are not prone to feelings of nostalgia or sentimentality. I wonder if these people know how lucky they are. Unfortunately, I am plagued by both these tormenters. The older I get, the more regrets I accumulate over things I’ve done and others that I haven’t done . The rule seeming to be that the farther back in time these things are, the more anguish they cause me. For this reason, I have nothing but contempt for those who post on this forum trying to tell me that there is no such thing as time. If there’s no such thing as time, why do I keep on getting older? Getting old does not suit me. Some people readily accept getting old, some people even seem to embrace it, I hate it.
If I could give just one piece of advice to the young it would be: just stay away from me you bastards, with you smooth skin and hair that still has some sort of colour left in it, and your ambitions for the future, I don’t want to have to see you, you make me sick.

I've been in a sentimental mode since 5 years old XD. I do have regrets, about things I've done, but... well, they teach me how to live better. You are still alive oldman XD. What do you want to do? climb a mountain? In my gym there was an old man, amazing how his body works. Well, yeah, you are not young, but you have more experience.
Time is a concept, but it can be complex in a mind, and when you analyze it enough, you can reach the conclusion that it isn't appropiate to put some things in a concept. Not everybody reach the same conclusions of course. There are causal states, and, as a simplification, of course, time exist.
C'mon, I'm probably more angry with existence than you, even being younger I can tell that it isn't a good feeling, we both nknow that hate something won't change it. Don't think about it a lot, that's all.
Oh... I want to have white hair (if I have hair when I get old.... if I get old...), it is so cool...

[Harbal]

The Belgians are the luckiest people on earth. They can just go and end the torture when it suits them.

I don't want to die, VT, I just want to not be old. Is that too much to ask?

[vegetariantaxidermy]

The Belgians are the luckiest people on earth. They can just go and end the torture when it suits them.

I don't want to die, VT, I just want to not be old. Is that too much to ask?

You aren't old though. 61 is still young.

[Harbal]

You aren't old though. 61 is still young.

That's what I keep telling myself but I don't really mean it, I'm just being tactful.

[vegetariantaxidermy]

You aren't old though. 61 is still young.

That's what I keep telling myself but I don't really mean it, I'm just being tactful.

It is though. Just wait till you are a 100, like me.

[Harbal]

It is though. Just wait till you are a 100, like me.

Thanks, VT, I don't feel quite so bad now.

[TSBU]

I would sell you some years in exchange for a person from my planet.
Silly young thought

[Greta]

It seems that there are some who are not prone to feelings of nostalgia or sentimentality. I wonder if these people know how lucky they are. Unfortunately, I am plagued by both these tormenters. The older I get, the more regrets I accumulate over things I’ve done and others that I haven’t done . The rule seeming to be that the farther back in time these things are, the more anguish they cause me. For this reason, I have nothing but contempt for those who post on this forum trying to tell me that there is no such thing as time. If there’s no such thing as time, why do I keep on getting older? Getting old does not suit me. Some people readily accept getting old, some people even seem to embrace it, I hate it.
If I could give just one piece of advice to the young it would be: just stay away from me you bastards, with you smooth skin and hair that still has some sort of colour left in it, and your ambitions for the future, I don’t want to have to see you, you make me sick.

People are compelled by evolution to prod, push, coerce, criticise and judge each other incessantly. We are so well conditioned that we even take over the judging role ourselves. By all means note your shortfalls and see how much you can improve yourself, but don't judge. It's an existential error. In truth, like everyone, you have only done the best you can given your circumstances and capacities at the time.

I used to believe I had all sorts of potential because I'm a natural writer. I did not come close to fulfilling that potential because I had mental problems. It's a limiting factor. My father had an incredible work ethic, the kind of drive and motivation common to refugees. He was very judgemental of anyone with a lesser capacity for hard work because, "If I can do it, anyone can" [sic]. What he forgot is that his extraordinary drive, determination and persistence were unusual gifts. So, no, not "anyone can do it". People often think in a one-dimensional way about potentials, forgetting the importance of drive, networking, mentorship and luck that often is pivotal in people "fulfilling potentials".

It really shouldn't matter if you didn't do everything you could have done, seen all you could seen, etc. If you didn't do it then it means you could not have done it - otherwise you would have done. You simply didn't take all factors into account. If you didn't take a risk due to excess caution, consider where that over-vigilance came from. It was part of you at the time and limited you. You and all the rest. Never mind, whatever you didn't do, chances are someone else will do it better anyway - aside from being you :)

Should have had children, should have been married, should have separated, should have worked harder, should have had more leisure time, should have travelled, should have done more charity, should have saved more, should have spent more, should have stopped to smell the roses, should have stopped smelling roses and gotten some work done ... the list goes on. Regrets. Things left undone. They say that no Inbox is empty when you die.

I think that taking society's reflexive prodding too much to heart causes much angst. We often don't feel like we measure up. The easiest cure is to take a "fuck 'em" approach IMO. It's not other peoples' fault that they so often try to induce guilt in you; it's a compulsion. But the option is there to not care so much. If you have made mistakes, forgive yourself and learn from them.

[Terrapin Station]

It seems that there are some who are not prone to feelings of nostalgia or sentimentality. I wonder if these people know how lucky they are. Unfortunately, I am plagued by both these tormenters. The older I get, the more regrets I accumulate over things I’ve done and others that I haven’t done . The rule seeming to be that the farther back in time these things are, the more anguish they cause me. For this reason, I have nothing but contempt for those who post on this forum trying to tell me that there is no such thing as time. If there’s no such thing as time, why do I keep on getting older? Getting old does not suit me. Some people readily accept getting old, some people even seem to embrace it, I hate it.
If I could give just one piece of advice to the young it would be: just stay away from me you bastards, with you smooth skin and hair that still has some sort of colour left in it, and your ambitions for the future, I don’t want to have to see you, you make me sick.

I wouldn't say that regrets are the same as nostaglia and/or sentimentality.

Both sentimentality and especially nostalgia often have a positive connotation instead. I frequently experience nostalgia, for example, and it's basically a very positive aesthetic(-like) feeling for me.

I certainly have some regrets, too, by the way. I just don't see that connected to nostalgia or sentimentality. They're definitely connected to memory though. That's the thing nostalgia and regrets do have in common--a memory connection. Sentimentality doesn't have to imply memory though, either.

[Harbal]

I wouldn't say that regrets are the same as nostaglia and/or sentimentality.

Both sentimentality and especially nostalgia often have a positive connotation instead. I frequently experience nostalgia, for example, and it's basically a very positive aesthetic(-like) feeling for me.

I certainly have some regrets, too, by the way. I just don't see that connected to nostalgia or sentimentality. They're definitely connected to memory though. That's the thing nostalgia and regrets do have in common--a memory connection. Sentimentality doesn't have to imply memory though, either.

I've mixed a few things that I don't like about the effects of time together here but, although I know what I mean, I don't suppose it's very clear to anyone else. An example of nostalgia would be the way I miss what my kids were like when they were very young. The feelings I have about that are very sentimental and seem to get more so as time passes, which, I suppose, is what nostalgia is. Tied in with this is the guilt I feel at not being as good a parent as I think I should have been, which is what causes the regret. It's a mixture that can cause quite severe sadness.
I wasn't talking about regrets that don't have a sentimental aspect to them; I regret not having a better attitude at school but the thought of that doesn't cause me any problems. There are also the physical changes time brings with it, it's just not much fun watching your body slowly deteriorate right in front of your eyes, and the fact that your sight is probably not as good as it was doesn't seem to make the spectacle any less unpalatable.

[Skip]

Hey, if you think nostalgia (longing for things loved and lost), regret and memory are painful, wait till the memories start falling into the deep black pits old age makes in your brain! First, you forget names, then eloquent words, then the location of your despised but necessary spectacles, your teeth.... and eventually, your self. Probably, your joints are still pretty good, too. Just wait...

Still, if I program ethical subroutines into my autonomous car, I'll have it preferentially avoid hitting one of my contemporaries, in favour of a young, confident, bouncy-stepping, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed punk.

[Terrapin Station]

the fact that your sight is probably not as good as it was doesn't seem to make the spectacle any less unpalatable.

Well, once your sight gets bad enough that helps block out awareness of the other changes in your body that you don't like.

Re nostalgia, I mostly experience it with artworks that I've known for a long time. So I listen to music from when I was a kid and it brings back a flood of memories, at least memories of emotions and so on.

[Lacewing]

There are choices and behaviors from my past that I would not do now. If I can use those experiences as incentive and insight NOW to choose and do better from each point onward (and in the lives of those around me), then it seems I make the past (and my mistakes) WORTH something. It's not over 'til it's over. And I don't want to be defined by my past.

I think if we view life (and ourselves) as a linear experience, it doesn't give us much flexibility or relief from that perceived linear experience. Whereas, (for example) if we view life as a collection of mini life experiences, that don't have to line up or look the same or follow a certain script, then we give ourselves the freedom to be and to experience whole new realms of ourselves and "life".

The possibilities for each person's life really are more vast than most of us explore, aren't they? So what payoff are we getting by choosing and focusing on what we do?"