If you’re not a twin, it’s easy to project that all twins love each other, that they’re best friends, and that they need each other. So the idea of twin privacy, separateness, and individuation can surprise some people. What must be taken into consideration is that Kayla and her brother are twins and they will always share a special, special bond, but, they are indivduals first and foremost and it would be unwise to forego the individuation process to find their separate identitites.
I don't understand your line of reasoning. Who is arguing that they are not individuals? Of course they are individuals...even if they were identical twins they would be individuals. Even if they were cojoined twins they would be individuals...I think...although it could be debated if they were joined at the brain then I would have to say they were but one individual with 2 bodies.... but I digress...what was I getting to again?
I don't understand what you think would happen to them if they remained close? Do you think that Kayla would have to go through a traumatic event.... if.....let's say.... Kayla's brother marries a girl who does not like Kayla, and never allows him to see Kayla again (unlikely...but let's just say...)
Do you think that would be any more traumatic if you forced/broke their bond now? If Kayla's brother, left her someday, she may go through trauma...or she may be old enough to deal with it...that is a whole lot of 'if's' as opposed to if she was forced to make the split now. There is no guarantee it would be better now or later....
Kayla is going to learn to manage on her "own" whether of not people meddle in her life. She will learn to manage on her own because she is an individual....and that mean she has an individual hand which will decide who's hand to hold and whose hand to shun.
No need to put her through it now...as it may come naturally on it's own or not..but so what...as whatever may be...whether they remain close or not...there is no denying their individuality.
What I don't understand is your fear of someone not becoming an 'individual.' Could you please explain to me why you think a person could somehow not become an 'individual' why you think it is a bad thing?