What causes porn addiction???

[Arising_uk]

I'm just a wonderin.....

Why do many women seem to like bad boy men?

Evidence? As most seem happily maried couples.

You know what I mean. Women say they want us to be civilized and sane, reliable and faithful, with good manners and morals, clean shirt and socks, and so on...

And then they fall head over heels for the guy who is doing every other girl in town, and providing his buddies at the bar with all the details.

Because he's probably good-looking with his best clean clothes on and they're young.

What details men and their buddies describe pales at the details girls and their buddies discuss with respect to the sex and the man.

What's that all about?

Power, a talent, fame and wealth seem the main abouts to have if you're not good-looking and you wish to be a 'bad boy' that attracts the girls.
p.s.
Apart from the 'morals' why would you equate 'bad boys' with being unclean. The biggest bastards I've met with respect to women have been pretty natty dressers.

[chaz wyman]

Thanks Chaz, as usual you offer an insightful indepth analysis which reveals the subtle implications of points made by other posters.

Duh... what's all that about then?

[duszek]

I am not sure who is more manipulative here, Typist.
I said that a normal man should be repulsed by porn.
It was a statement of fact. A hypothesis.
Many men are repulsed by porn, but they are not posting here at the moment.

I did not want you to feel guilty. I wanted to warn you.
It seems to be rather so that the more a man consumes porn the less his chances are of having a relationship with a real woman. It was men psychologists who explained this on a different forum. And they even gave a good rational reason: because the porn consumer becomes too impatient to get what he wants in a second and things do not work that way in real life.

[chaz wyman]

I am not sure who is more manipulative here, Typist.
I said that a normal man should be repulsed by porn.
It was a statement of fact. A hypothesis.
Many men are repulsed by porn, but they are not posting here at the moment.

As it is an empirical fact that the vast majority of men are clearly NOT repulsed by porn, to the contrary there is a natural curiosity in each man to examine and be attracted to the image of the female form, that MEANS that the 'normal man' is attracted to porn. So much is obvious. And I would be worried for a man that was immediately repulsed by porn and would suspect that he has severe issues with repression of his natural sexual urges.

I did not want you to feel guilty. I wanted to warn you.
It seems to be rather so that the more a man consumes porn the less his chances are of having a relationship with a real woman. It was men psychologists who explained this on a different forum. And they even gave a good rational reason: because the porn consumer becomes too impatient to get what he wants in a second and things do not work that way in real life.

This does not mean that 'normal men' are repulsed by porn, even if it what you say were true.
This might be true in men that seek a relationship with a woman for sex alone. But anyone with any experience of life and love knows that this is a recipe for failure, with or without porn. An excessive use of porn, such as could be characterised as addictive will be damaging to initiating a new relationship with a woman. But the man who is successful with finding love will not be concerned primarily with sex with his prospective partner and porn has a role to play in directing the primal urge to ejaculate so that he can see her more calmly in her presence.
An example of this idea can be seen rather amusingly in Something about Mary, where Ben Stiller's character knocks one off in the bathroom before Mary arrives for a date. The reasoning for this was simple enough; it satisfied nature's urge to procreate so that he could, more calmly, spend time with Mary without think about nailing her every 30 seconds.

[duszek]

I see a difference between an interest in the female form, like an artist may have, and an interest in obscene things because one´s desires are out of control.

If it is normal for a man to be such a "stud" like this Stiller then why is the demand for viagra so big ? Not only among geriatrics.
A normal man can not only master his sex drive, he can even use it for other purposes.
Napoleon said before an important battle: Not today, Josephine.

:::::::::::::::::::

What erodes the mental health is also the aspect of payment.
It is a humiliation for a human being that he (or she) has to pay for sex.

In a novel by M. Houellebecq a young man who could afford a prostitute tries hard to get a girlfriend for free. It is a question of his personal dignity. He is not very good looking, but he refuses to pay.
I can very much understand his point of view.

[chaz wyman]

[quote="duszek"]I see a difference between an interest in the female form, like an artist may have, and an interest in obscene things because one´s desires are out of control.

Wanking is not desire out of control. It is the exact opposite.

If it is normal for a man to be such a "stud" like this Stiller then why is the demand for viagra so big ? Not only among geriatrics.

Fucking hell. Who put that bug up your arse??
Have you seen Something about Mary?. The whole point about his character is that he is a nice whimp, who wants to marry Mary because he loves her, and he wanks becasue he does not want the sex to get in the way.
I'm not sure why you want to bring viagra into the discussion. I've never tried it.


A normal man can not only master his sex drive, he can even use it for other purposes.
Napoleon said before an important battle: Not today, Josephine.

Yes - he ca redirect it to fuck the world instead, or go out on a Saturday night looking for a fight. What do you do with yours? Or are you lacking in that department - it certainly seems so.

[duszek]

You can also build an Eiffel Tower.
Or do lots of other things.
According to Freud culture came into being because men started to redirect their sex drive, from procreation to other things.

[chaz wyman]

You can also build an Eiffel Tower.
Or do lots of other things.
According to Freud culture came into being because men started to redirect their sex drive, from procreation to other things.

So much for Freud.

PS Thanks for addressing my points, one by one.

[Typist]

Hi duszek, I hope you understand I'm talking about men and women in general. You are of course entitled to your personal view on these topics, and I don't mean to debate that.

I said that a normal man should be repulsed by porn. It was a statement of fact. A hypothesis.

Note use of the word "normal". I know you don't consciously intend this, but the gist of your comment is that if we like porn, we're not normal, we're weird, we should feel embarrassed, shamed. This is manipulation by guilt.

I propose to you that a normal healthy intelligent man doesn't take this manipulation by guilt strategy too seriously.

I propose to you that when we do, women take us less seriously, and are actually disappointed by our weakness.

Women take this approach, because they don't want to compete with hot young babes that cost only $25/mo. That's understandable. I'm not saying this is wrong, as women are entitled to feel and say whatever they want. I'm just labeling this activity for what it is, in the spirit of clear thinking.

Many men are repulsed by porn, but they are not posting here at the moment.

Yes, that's probably true. I would propose that such men might be scared of their own sexuality. Being repulsed by naked women is kind of a problem for a straight guy. Perhaps it works just fine for gay guys, I don't know.

It seems to be rather so that the more a man consumes porn the less his chances are of having a relationship with a real woman.

I'm guessing most porn watching men are married.

It was men psychologists who explained this on a different forum. And they even gave a good rational reason: because the porn consumer becomes too impatient to get what he wants in a second and things do not work that way in real life.

This is a good point, but I would apply it to the Internet in general, not just porn.

As example, I now have an unrealistic expectation that real world face to face people will talk philosophical blowharding with me for endless hours, like you guys do. I'm sometimes disappointed and kinda frustrated when they won't.

We've discussed this in other threads. This technology is going to offer ever more compelling competition to the real world.

[Xxicrimsonixx]

The cause of porn addiction is just someone who has placed porn at the center of his universe. It makes him obsessed and unable to deal with the real world, so he turns to porn as some sort of escape as he sees porn as a way of release for the stresses of his daily life. It works in the same manner of a drug addict. They cannot cope with daily life, so they turn to a "drug", in this case the porn, as an escape from reality.

[chaz wyman]

The cause of porn addiction is just someone who has placed porn at the center of his universe. It makes him obsessed and unable to deal with the real world, so he turns to porn as some sort of escape as he sees porn as a way of release for the stresses of his daily life. It works in the same manner of a drug addict. They cannot cope with daily life, so they turn to a "drug", in this case the porn, as an escape from reality.

Or a work addict, or an addict of what he like to think of as "real life" whatever that is!

But none of this says anything about what causes addiction.

[chaz wyman]

As with sexual addiction, porn addiction is rarely caused by only one factor, but is more likely a building up of conditions over time. Causes could include exposure to pornographic images at a young age, deep seated insecurity and/or fear of rejection in relationships, or past trauma such as physical and/or sexual abuse. In addition to these causes, porn addiction feeds on itself, and is progressive in nature. A person becomes desensitized to the images that are being seen, and constantly needs more new images. In addition, once exposed to the more graphic depictions of sexual activity, simple nudity is no longer as exciting. In some cases, this progression into harder pornography can lead to illegal activities such as violent porn or child pornography. The problem with porn addiction is mostly one of altered perception. Continued exposure to pornography changes the user's view of the people around them. Men using pornography tend to see women as sexual objects rather than as valuable people to be honored and respected. In a marriage relationship, pornography can drive a wedge between the man and wife. Although it may be used initially to add "excitement" to the marriage, the progressive nature of pornography can lead a relationship down paths that one partner may not wish to travel.

I think the slippery slope of addiction causing crime is a fallacy for which there is not one scrap of evidence.
People are able to distinguish between images on their computer and real people, other wise 100 years of cinema would have more significantly changed us. But we watch violence everyday on the screen - but we live in a far less violent society than we did 100 years ago.

[bobevenson]

Porn addiction is caused by the same thing as potato-chip addiction.

[chaz wyman]

Porn addiction is caused by the same thing as potato-chip addiction.

Well you'd know!

[bobevenson]

Porn addiction is caused by the same thing as potato-chip addiction.

Well you'd know!

Of course, because I'm Bob the Baptist, the new guru, the modern messiah, the wizard of Ouzo!