Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Can philosophers help resolve the real problems that people have in their lives?

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Walker
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Walker » Tue Jan 31, 2017 3:03 pm

Skip wrote:
duszek wrote: Or she can need such arguments herself. Women also have a mid-life crisis at times.
Mostly in mid-life, say, around menopause, yes.

Men may not ask for directions, generally, but they sure flock to gurus of all kinds. Want somebody else to tell them what their life means, what their highest aspirations should be, whom to kill, what their god wants, who is okay to persecute and rob, which are the most status-enhancing sacrifices.... Much more than women do, actually: women are more likely to go along with the status quo, keep a low profile and paint their children in the most appropriate camouflage.
To experience that the satguru and the guru within are identical is when the differentiation between inner and outer crumbles, resulting in a deeper understanding of mind-created limitations.

Skip
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Skip » Wed Feb 01, 2017 11:09 pm

marjoram_blues wrote: - would you call yourself a Philosophical Counsellor ?
No. I don't exactly know what that is. I used to, very long ago, be a guidance counsellor for students of a technical college. Most of their problems were about courses or study habits or test anxiety, but life and relationship issues did arise. Since then, in another incarnation, I've presided over a few support groups and art therapy sessions. No philosophical or medical credentials - just being involved and getting old.

marjoram_blues
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by marjoram_blues » Thu Feb 02, 2017 6:50 am

Skip wrote:
marjoram_blues wrote: - would you call yourself a Philosophical Counsellor ?
No. I don't exactly know what that is. I used to, very long ago, be a guidance counsellor for students of a technical college. Most of their problems were about courses or study habits or test anxiety, but life and relationship issues did arise. Since then, in another incarnation, I've presided over a few support groups and art therapy sessions. No philosophical or medical credentials - just being involved and getting old.
From what I can gather a PC is an academic product complete with Philosophy degree and post-grad qualifications in Philosophical Counselling. I imagine it to be relatively young, rich and clever with little world experience or practical wisdom. But then again...

Even without credentials, I would imagine you to be well read, well informed with a deep well of strength and support for others. Stay WELL. W - wise, E - excellent, L - loving, L - life enhancing.

Belinda
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Belinda » Thu Feb 02, 2017 11:40 am

Philosophy, and also sociology, are very good experience for psychotherapists. Many psyches are troubled because of mismatch between a societal strait jacket of received mores on the one hand, and their natural and lawful biological selves on the other.

Skip
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Skip » Thu Feb 02, 2017 4:06 pm

I can see where philosophy would help greatly in centering and focusing a person's belief-system.
I've always been convinced that most mental illness arises from the dictum: "Believe me, not your eyes."
We - and I mean all societies, though some more than others - lie to children so shamelessly that it's a wonder any of them grow up even semi-functional.

WendyDarling
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by WendyDarling » Sun Feb 05, 2017 4:10 am

duszek wrote:How about this:

an oversensitive person needs double standards,
one set of standards for people like herself and another set of standards for the normal people.

An oversensitve person approaches a normal person in a way that from her point of view is callous but from the normal person´s point of view is not a big deal (tough, cool, etc.)
What I gather from the OP is that today's normal person has lower standards and expectations from others by and large and that reverting back to survival of the fittest's ape mentality of pounding ones' chest while pounding the neighbor intermittently is tough, cool, etc. as well as expected by other normal people. Am I up to speed here?

duszek
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by duszek » Sun Feb 05, 2017 7:12 am

What lies to children strike you as particularly shameful ?

Children are good at lying themselves, from a very early age on.

Lying seems to be part of human nature.

Belinda
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Belinda » Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:38 am

One of the currently notorious lies that society tells children is that if they are not strictly either boys or girls there is something wrong with them. Blue or pink. Toy cars or toy cookers. Some little girls are encouraged to ape grown women wearing bikinis and make-up.

Another lie is that they are born as little Christians or little Muslims etc.

duszek
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by duszek » Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:45 am

Girls play with toy cars too sometimes.

Interestingly, at an early age boys and girls have some predilections.
Boys like to run around buildings and shoot each other, while girls jump over strings or a rope or play customer and a shop-assistent.

As to religious education it is just a starting point. Later on we can opt for something else.
Many Christians become Buddhists permanently or for a time.

It´s good to try things out.
What adults say is just an opinion and a working hypothesis.

Belinda
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Belinda » Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:58 am

Duzcek, children are more impressionable than what you say. Good parenting and good child education includes a neutral attitude towards gender orientation and religious beliefs.

A child who is indoctrinated in whichever way ,however kindly ,will be uneducable in that way until the educator has first cleared the ground of misapprehensions. Ask any good English teacher about the indoctrinated student's par- blind response to literature.

duszek
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by duszek » Sun Feb 05, 2017 11:09 am

You underestimate children, they are more clever than you think.

They like to contradict and to ask "why" all the time.

Why should I go to Sunday school ? It is so boring, and the teacher is nasty too. I don´t want to be like her when I grow up.

That would be a typical reaction of a kid as far as I am concerned.

A neutral attitude ?
What a bore.
Kids love to do the opposite.
That´s why some smart parents try to trick their children into doing what they want by forbidding them to do it. But most kids recognize the trick and this sneaky tactic fails.

Where did you grow up, Belinda ? If it is not too personal.

Belinda
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Belinda » Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:00 pm

Duszek, there is no "opposite" of neutral. True, children like to rebel. Some kids rebel to disrupt whatever is going on. They also like to rebel against dogmatic teaching and more strength to the children when they do . The trick is to teach them how to rebel so they actually help themselves and others.

Productive rebellion is enabled by ability to criticise using reason and sympathy, and most modern education is liberal.

Belinda
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Belinda » Sun Feb 05, 2017 8:02 pm

I am not a fan of Sunday schools or any other sort of faith teaching to children.

Skip
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Skip » Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:56 pm

duszek wrote:What lies to children strike you as particularly shameful ?

Children are good at lying themselves, from a very early age on.

Lying seems to be part of human nature.
Lying for reward, or to escape harm, is natural. Children would probably invent it independently if they were not taught early enough. But those are not the crazy-making lies.
The crazy-making lies are on the order of:
I'm only hitting you because I love you. It's your fault for making me angry. God so loved the world that he had bad people snuff his innocent son just so he could forgive the good people he was mad at - and you. You must always tell the truth - and I know that's not it. Be yourself - not this self; smarten up. Don't get smart with me, young man! Grandma went to live with the angels. What - you're eight years old and still believe in Santa Claus? Hard work and honesty will always be rewarded. Go on like this, you'll be nothing but a janitor. Money is the root of all evil. Why can't you have a little ambition and become a hedge-fund manager? [Insert name of country] is the best nation on Earth. [Insert name of religion] is the only source of morality. Love thy neighbour. Don't talk to Jorge next door, he's a little hoodlum.

You get the idea.

duszek
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Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by duszek » Mon Feb 06, 2017 3:58 pm

Belinda wrote:Duszek, there is no "opposite" of neutral. True, children like to rebel. Some kids rebel to disrupt whatever is going on. They also like to rebel against dogmatic teaching and more strength to the children when they do . The trick is to teach them how to rebel so they actually help themselves and others.

Productive rebellion is enabled by ability to criticise using reason and sympathy, and most modern education is liberal.
I agree.

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