Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Can philosophers help resolve the real problems that people have in their lives?

Moderators: AMod, iMod

marjoram_blues
Posts: 1579
Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2015 12:50 pm

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by marjoram_blues » Fri Jan 27, 2017 10:11 am

Walker wrote:
duszek wrote:A hypersensitive person has a disadvantage and needs to apply some tricks to stay cool and detached.
What are some methods for managing thoughts that have uncontrollable effects upon behavior, and why are these methods effective?
Detachment and renaming.
Effective because they take the sting out of synaptic associations. An anti-nausea pill which means you don't have to carry a sick bowl around.

I've decided to rename him whom I will not name as AP45.
Why?
Because it signifies the person as the 45th American President, without giving the trademark of 'Trump' any more publicity.
It reminds me of an Ape, being handed his P45.

User avatar
Hobbes' Choice
Posts: 8385
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 11:45 am

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Hobbes' Choice » Fri Jan 27, 2017 11:24 am

marjoram_blues wrote:
Walker wrote:
duszek wrote:A hypersensitive person has a disadvantage and needs to apply some tricks to stay cool and detached.
What are some methods for managing thoughts that have uncontrollable effects upon behavior, and why are these methods effective?
Detachment and renaming.
Effective because they take the sting out of synaptic associations. An anti-nausea pill which means you don't have to carry a sick bowl around.

I've decided to rename him whom I will not name as AP45.
Why?
Because it signifies the person as the 45th American President, without giving the trademark of 'Trump' any more publicity.
It reminds me of an Ape, being handed his P45.
Walker does know what the fuck a P45 is.
I think you need more than an antiemetic to avoid vomiting whenever you see P45.
What new horror has he tweeted today - a trade war with Mexico!
What a wanker.
It's true that there is a trade gap of around $50billion, but hitting Mexican imports with 20% is just going to strangle the US economy, and will cost plenty to collect in pen pushers. It will also increase smuggling, requiring more policing. Trade goods will still find a way in without attracting the tariffs.
If trade to Mexico drops, that shall impoverish Mexico further leading to more inwards immigration pressure. That wall is going to have to be bloody high.

It's a loose loose situation.

marjoram_blues
Posts: 1579
Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2015 12:50 pm

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by marjoram_blues » Fri Jan 27, 2017 12:06 pm

Hobbes' Choice wrote:
marjoram_blues wrote:
Walker wrote: What are some methods for managing thoughts that have uncontrollable effects upon behavior, and why are these methods effective?
Detachment and renaming.
Effective because they take the sting out of synaptic associations. An anti-nausea pill which means you don't have to carry a sick bowl around.

I've decided to rename him whom I will not name as AP45.
Why?
Because it signifies the person as the 45th American President, without giving the trademark of 'Trump' any more publicity.
It reminds me of an Ape, being handed his P45.
Walker does know what the fuck a P45 is.
I think you need more than an antiemetic to avoid vomiting whenever you see P45.
What new horror has he tweeted today - a trade war with Mexico!
What a wanker.
It's true that there is a trade gap of around $50billion, but hitting Mexican imports with 20% is just going to strangle the US economy, and will cost plenty to collect in pen pushers. It will also increase smuggling, requiring more policing. Trade goods will still find a way in without attracting the tariffs.
If trade to Mexico drops, that shall impoverish Mexico further leading to more inwards immigration pressure. That wall is going to have to be bloody high.

It's a loose loose situation.
So P45 is easy to google - I did think of giving the equivalent but couldn't be arsed.
Pink slip in AP45's paws > vomit plus.

Another tool for duszek's cool - just lose it big time.
In your own time and space - Spit, Scream and Shout :shock:

And then breathe...
If you don't like sweary words, get creative...but let it out !

Sneezes Cucking Smight, I thought I was done here... :roll:
No self control at all.
BTW, I'm loving the Guardian and btl comments - good to know the 'alternative facts'.

Skip
Posts: 2224
Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2011 1:34 pm

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Skip » Sat Jan 28, 2017 5:16 pm

Sorry I haven't been following; I only look in every couple of days lately.
duszek wrote:You can be hypersensitve and have a normal ego.
And insensitive people can have inflated or fragile or flabby or puny or robust or average ego.
What might happen, though, depending on the environment, is that a child considered to be too sensitive or insensitive for its assigned gender role is chivvied, bullied, belittled, goaded, nagged, cajoled, praised, bribed, punished, criticized or in some other way hounded until its ego is very sick, one way or another. But this can also happen if the adult environment considers a child insufficinetly athletic, talented, clever, attractive, pious or whatever trait the community, or the parents value - and, of course, the converse.

I'm not aware of any direct correlation with intelligence, either.
It's just another character trait on the same old bell curve.
However, sensitive people can appear more intelligent than they are because they are necessarily (self-defensively) observant. Just as subservient classes of people have always had to be more aware of the ones who had power over them than the people with power ever needed to be of their social inferiors, watching and anticipating others becomes a habit and a developed skill.
And, of course, insensitive people can appear less intelligent than they are because they don't bother with subtlety or tact, substituting the more convenient means of boldness and force. This means they fail to develop aspects of their pattern-recognition and linguistic ability.
Hypersensitive people can become victims of bullying because they suffer more from blows.
Being very empathetic they don´t distribute blows themselves (this would hurt them more than the target, again owing to a high empathy level).
So they get stuck in a vicious circle.
True. Empathy is often - though not necessarily - part of the character-set. It's hard to tell in adulthood what was part of the original set and what's been added along the way as self-protection. By middle age, hypersensitive people tend to look like caddisflies. They may also retreat from emotional contact and seem cold, or become so self-involved as to lose interest in others.
What would you advise such people, Skip ?
Pretty much what I outlined on page 1. But it depends on the age and circumstances and degree of sensitivity, doesn't it?
In general, I'd say the same as I would for depression and anxiety [and i won't call those conditions disorders, because sometimes the response is entirely appropriate]:
Take control. The feeling belongs to you, not the other way around.
Take notes. Keep a journal, a graph of how you're doing from day to day, and see what kinds of activities lift your spirits and what kinds are unpleasant or threatening. See if you can arrange your activities more positively. See if you can avoid certain personalities and socialize more with other types. Common sense, really, but just the exercise itself helps the person take charge.
Meditation works for some. Extra sleep and lucid dreaming works for some. Visualization works for some.
Each person has to figure out what combination of techniques and scheduling works best for them in their particular circumstances. A counsellor can help with that, but it's too personal for any standard prescription.

(ETA - I like marjoram's advice of a steam-release session from time to time. Add pummeling a pillow or beating on a barrel. Actually, drumming circles and maze-walking are forms of stress reduction practiced by some natives. Dancing with great abandon does it for some.)
A cooperation between a tough person and a hypersensitive person is possible: for example things occur to a hypersensitive one that a tough person could use.
Houdini and Doyle?
Um, ye-e-es, maybe, but I'd take a very deep breath before recommending it. The situations wherein I've actually seen this kind of teaming is among college-aged boys, and how it normally turns out is that the stronger one bullies or takes advantage of the weaker. He may not intend to - it's just too easy and they drift into a relationship. (One artsy kid nearly ended up taking a drug possession rap for his 'protector'.)
Perhaps a better strategy would be for sensitive people to team up and pool coping mechanisms, information, or whatever resource is available.
Support groups sometimes work very well, whether its a mindfuless meetings, seminar, role enactment, exercise sessions or recreational outings.
Last edited by Skip on Sat Jan 28, 2017 7:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Walker
Posts: 4098
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2015 12:00 am

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Walker » Sat Jan 28, 2017 7:37 pm

Skip wrote:I'm not aware of any direct correlation with intelligence, either.
Clearly a reason to expand awareness and thus deepen sensitivity, which effortlessly makes thinking the slave and not the master.

As a rule, rational thought is the Swiss army knife for most any hypersensitive/oversensitive premise. As such, there are sign posts to note on the ride. For example, a signal flare for ego-motive is any discussion of “them.” These shine brightly through word fogs to illuminate agenda-shaded visions of truth and dark zones of awareness.

duszek
Posts: 2094
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 5:27 pm
Location: Thin Air

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by duszek » Sun Jan 29, 2017 7:34 am

I have not said that I was hypersensitive myself, have I ? :mrgreen:

It´s a general discussion, an internet forum is a good place for finding like-minded people and support.

What seems to work from my experience is the rule: one strike and you are out.
A real act of hostility, not simply teasing or expressing honest annoyance like Henry Q. does occasionally.

Keep attention clean.
If a dark cloud accumulates in the mind roll it up like a piece of dough and push it out, with appropriate artistic comments.

Walker
Posts: 4098
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2015 12:00 am

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Walker » Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:37 pm

That’s always the trouble with the end of pretend and what passes for sophistication.

Even though functioning is impaired, a pre-frontal lobotomy works as a survival technique, and though it isn’t worth the effort after the die is cast, time-lags for impact-adjustment tend to vary.

marjoram_blues
Posts: 1579
Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2015 12:50 pm

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by marjoram_blues » Mon Jan 30, 2017 10:55 am

duszek wrote:I have not said that I was hypersensitive myself, have I ? :mrgreen:

It´s a general discussion, an internet forum is a good place for finding like-minded people and support.

What seems to work from my experience is the rule: one strike and you are out.
A real act of hostility, not simply teasing or expressing honest annoyance like Henry Q. does occasionally.

Keep attention clean.
If a dark cloud accumulates in the mind roll it up like a piece of dough and push it out, with appropriate artistic comments.
Duszek, whether or not you are hypersensitive, it has been a helpful discussion with all the different viewpoints, questions - and some substantial advice. Thanks for that and glad that the Philosophical Counselling forum is being used. Makes a refreshing change.

Still not exactly sure how this differs from any other type of counselling. Perhaps worth another thread ?
How would you define Philosophical Counselling ?

Belinda
Posts: 1500
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2016 10:13 am

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Belinda » Mon Jan 30, 2017 12:44 pm

I refer to Skip's post, and also to how philosophy can help certain over-sensitive persons.

If a person has been indoctrinated with ideas of what is normal and desirable the indoctrination usually originates with the powerful in society, the church typically. Ideas in society get to be disseminated through to the plebs i.e the process of hegemony.

Many of those ideas are harmful and even more cause actual distress, as Skip describes. The distress takes the form of guilt or unworthiness. Small children are indoctrinated by adults who are themselves unaware that they are indoctrinated and who accept that ideas in society are true and morally justified.

I need not list any more of those societal norms than Skip has already listed in the post above.

The existentialist teacher might seek to help a troubled child, or adult, by providing an experience, such as camping in the wild in actual danger and requiring the use of initiative, with the aim for the child or adult that they discover what is real for them, and subsequently build upon this revelation.

There are stories in children's and adults' literature which can teach the existentialist lesson vicariously. The theme would be some character who experiences dangers and troubles and emerges a stronger person who knows from experience what really matters to them as an individual.

duszek
Posts: 2094
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 5:27 pm
Location: Thin Air

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by duszek » Mon Jan 30, 2017 3:51 pm

marjoram_blues wrote: Duszek, whether or not you are hypersensitive, it has been a helpful discussion with all the different viewpoints, questions - and some substantial advice. Thanks for that and glad that the Philosophical Counselling forum is being used. Makes a refreshing change.

Still not exactly sure how this differs from any other type of counselling. Perhaps worth another thread ?
How would you define Philosophical Counselling ?
If a man suffering from a mid-life crisis comes to a philosopher and asks him: what do I live for ?
Then this would be philosophical counselling, I suppose.

Walker
Posts: 4098
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2015 12:00 am

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Walker » Mon Jan 30, 2017 5:23 pm

duszek wrote:If a man suffering from a mid-life crisis comes to a philosopher and asks him: what do I live for ?
Then this would be philosophical counselling, I suppose.
Sounds clever as a theory, but it doesn’t wash ...

because ...

Everyone knows that men don’t ask for directions.

Certainly any man who is deliberating on how to get from O to Z in the alphabet,
or perhaps is wondering how in the world he got from A to O,
certainly knows that the theory of a man asking for directions
is only a hypothetical debate point when he hears the voice pierce the ether with,
“Ask that man over there, (he looks like he knows where he’s at),”
which is fine advice for youngsters, seekers and perhaps those
who rely on the kindness of strangers,
but by the time a man reaches O, he knows that he should know,
thus the theory should be inclusive of the empirical fact
that men man-up, and begin to look within.

Hey Mack!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mIjqzjZpiw

duszek
Posts: 2094
Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2009 5:27 pm
Location: Thin Air

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by duszek » Mon Jan 30, 2017 6:39 pm

I see the point, Walker.

How about this:

A wife or a girlfriend sees that her man suffers from a mid-life crisis but he is not really depressed.
So SHE goes to a philosophical counseller to get some arguments that she can present to her man at breakfast and thus help him.
A good technique is to play innocent and to ask for an opinion regarding the arguments she has just got. In order to comment on them the man will have to analyze them quickly at least and to think about them a little that way.

Or she can need such arguments herself. Women also have a mid-life crisis at times.

Skip
Posts: 2224
Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2011 1:34 pm

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by Skip » Tue Jan 31, 2017 12:25 am

duszek wrote: Or she can need such arguments herself. Women also have a mid-life crisis at times.
Mostly in mid-life, say, around menopause, yes.

Men may not ask for directions, generally, but they sure flock to gurus of all kinds. Want somebody else to tell them what their life means, what their highest aspirations should be, whom to kill, what their god wants, who is okay to persecute and rob, which are the most status-enhancing sacrifices.... Much more than women do, actually: women are more likely to go along with the status quo, keep a low profile and paint their children in the most appropriate camouflage.

marjoram_blues
Posts: 1579
Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2015 12:50 pm

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by marjoram_blues » Tue Jan 31, 2017 8:53 am

Skip wrote:Sorry I haven't been following; I only look in every couple of days lately.
duszek wrote:You can be hypersensitve and have a normal ego.
And insensitive people can have inflated or fragile or flabby or puny or robust or average ego.
What might happen, though, depending on the environment, is that a child considered to be too sensitive or insensitive for its assigned gender role is chivvied, bullied, belittled, goaded, nagged, cajoled, praised, bribed, punished, criticized or in some other way hounded until its ego is very sick, one way or another. But this can also happen if the adult environment considers a child insufficinetly athletic, talented, clever, attractive, pious or whatever trait the community, or the parents value - and, of course, the converse.

I'm not aware of any direct correlation with intelligence, either.
It's just another character trait on the same old bell curve.
However, sensitive people can appear more intelligent than they are because they are necessarily (self-defensively) observant. Just as subservient classes of people have always had to be more aware of the ones who had power over them than the people with power ever needed to be of their social inferiors, watching and anticipating others becomes a habit and a developed skill.
And, of course, insensitive people can appear less intelligent than they are because they don't bother with subtlety or tact, substituting the more convenient means of boldness and force. This means they fail to develop aspects of their pattern-recognition and linguistic ability.
Hypersensitive people can become victims of bullying because they suffer more from blows.
Being very empathetic they don´t distribute blows themselves (this would hurt them more than the target, again owing to a high empathy level).
So they get stuck in a vicious circle.
True. Empathy is often - though not necessarily - part of the character-set. It's hard to tell in adulthood what was part of the original set and what's been added along the way as self-protection. By middle age, hypersensitive people tend to look like caddisflies. They may also retreat from emotional contact and seem cold, or become so self-involved as to lose interest in others.
What would you advise such people, Skip ?
Pretty much what I outlined on page 1. But it depends on the age and circumstances and degree of sensitivity, doesn't it?
In general, I'd say the same as I would for depression and anxiety [and i won't call those conditions disorders, because sometimes the response is entirely appropriate]:
Take control. The feeling belongs to you, not the other way around.
Take notes. Keep a journal, a graph of how you're doing from day to day, and see what kinds of activities lift your spirits and what kinds are unpleasant or threatening. See if you can arrange your activities more positively. See if you can avoid certain personalities and socialize more with other types. Common sense, really, but just the exercise itself helps the person take charge.
Meditation works for some. Extra sleep and lucid dreaming works for some. Visualization works for some.
Each person has to figure out what combination of techniques and scheduling works best for them in their particular circumstances. A counsellor can help with that, but it's too personal for any standard prescription.

(ETA - I like marjoram's advice of a steam-release session from time to time. Add pummeling a pillow or beating on a barrel. Actually, drumming circles and maze-walking are forms of stress reduction practiced by some natives. Dancing with great abandon does it for some.)
A cooperation between a tough person and a hypersensitive person is possible: for example things occur to a hypersensitive one that a tough person could use.
Houdini and Doyle?
Um, ye-e-es, maybe, but I'd take a very deep breath before recommending it. The situations wherein I've actually seen this kind of teaming is among college-aged boys, and how it normally turns out is that the stronger one bullies or takes advantage of the weaker. He may not intend to - it's just too easy and they drift into a relationship. (One artsy kid nearly ended up taking a drug possession rap for his 'protector'.)
Perhaps a better strategy would be for sensitive people to team up and pool coping mechanisms, information, or whatever resource is available.
Support groups sometimes work very well, whether its a mindfuless meetings, seminar, role enactment, exercise sessions or recreational outings.
Thanks Skip for taking time and energy to share all this, so c!ear!y and helpfully. I actually tried a labyrinth walk recently. This is distinct from a maze. It was...interesting. You know SO much - I have kept quite a few of your treasures - would you call yourself a Philosophical Counsellor ?

marjoram_blues
Posts: 1579
Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2015 12:50 pm

Re: Survival techniques for oversensitive people

Post by marjoram_blues » Tue Jan 31, 2017 8:56 am

duszek wrote:
marjoram_blues wrote: Duszek, whether or not you are hypersensitive, it has been a helpful discussion with all the different viewpoints, questions - and some substantial advice. Thanks for that and glad that the Philosophical Counselling forum is being used. Makes a refreshing change.

Still not exactly sure how this differs from any other type of counselling. Perhaps worth another thread ?
How would you define Philosophical Counselling ?
If a man suffering from a mid-life crisis comes to a philosopher and asks him: what do I live for ?
Then this would be philosophical counselling, I suppose.
To keep this thread sacred, I have started a new one to which I have taken some of your, and others, thoughts.
Hope you all don't mind - and will correct any misinterpretations I may have made.

All the better to see...at ' Philosophical Counselling - what's it all about?'

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest