Cows and politics

How should society be organised, if at all?

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Philosophy Explorer
Posts: 5621
Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2014 7:39 am

Cows and politics

Post by Philosophy Explorer »

Is this a good summary?

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty
for being successful. You vote people into office who put a tax on
your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give
it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for
you.

SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it
to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage
his cow.

REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides
you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive
and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a
bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes
you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign
country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes
them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then
pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back
to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to
produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops
dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized
and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you
want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they
are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times
the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most
are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they
are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and
run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks
of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they
are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for
lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION : You have two cows. You count them and learn
you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again
and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have
12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
You produce your 10th 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia
shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which is
two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
parts. At night when no one is looking, you have sex with both of
them. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they
were in the hospital.

POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed
and killed attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone
votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown
one best vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people
vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best
looking one.

PhilX
Walker
Posts: 14280
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2015 12:00 am

Re: Cows and politics

Post by Walker »

Uhh, what's a cow?
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vegetariantaxidermy
Posts: 13983
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2012 6:45 am
Location: Narniabiznus

Re: Cows and politics

Post by vegetariantaxidermy »

Looks like one of those annoying emails that someone has forwarded to you (and about a hundred others) with no explanation or personal message of any kind. I really don't understand why people feel the need to do that.
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